What's Done In The Dark

Nicki sat on her bed working on her second book. It had been a few days since they had been home and still no improvements. Things actually got worse when D had a package dropped off at the signing and Safaree saw the senders name on the manila envelope. Safaree was now gone even more now, especially since Micaiah left for camp and they had nobody to pretend happily ever after for.

Nicki minimize her Microsoft Word page and went to her documents. She clicked on the folder labeled 'Wedding' and began reminiscing, alone. She came across a video that she'd never seen and began watching it. It was of her, Safaree and Micaiah dancing at the wedding reception together. She watched the now unfamiliar sight of true love and happiness. Safaree sang off key along to Jaged Edges's Let's Get Married to Nicki while she laughed and Micaiah skipped around them. He spun her around and sang his heart out until Rev Run's verse came on and Nicki began to rap to Safaree.

Nicki was pulled away from the video by MacKenzie who had begun fussing. She picked her up out of her baby lounger, which was simply a round pillow top with a sunken in center for her to sit in, and began rocking her to sleep. She had just eaten not to long ago so naturally sleep was the next step. After putting baby MacKenzie to sleep and putting her in her crib, Nicki made her way back to her room. As soon as she checked the time on her laptop she heard the front door open. She made her way downstairs to her expected guest.

"Hi Nicki." Stephanie greeted her in her usual perky voice as she walked down the stairs.

"Hi." Nicki said dully in attempt to keep her composure.

"You wanted to see me?" She asked following Nicki into the living room.

"Yeah." Nicki picked up an envelope and handed it to Stephanie. "Your last months pay. I need my key back."

"Wha-, why?" She looked sad.

"Don't play dumb with me Stephanie. When did it start?"

"I honestly don't know what-"

"When. Did. It. Start?" She felt herself becoming increasingly angry so she turned her visual attention to the family portrait that hung above the mantel. She focused on the happy faces of her children and took deep breaths.

"I think you should ask him."

"I'm asking you."

"About two and a half years ago after," She paused and looked at Nicki. Nicki knew the exact time frame without having to hear it. "It was just a few times at first and then we stopped for a while."

"Because you got pregnant?" Nicki felt the tears forming.

"Yeah." Stephanie looked away to hide her tears that were forming.

"Here?"

"Only twice."

"Ok. You can go."

"If it means anything, I, I'm sorry. You have a beautiful family and-"

"All I want is my key Stephanie."

"Ok." She pulled the key off the key ring that was already in her hand. Nicki watched her walk away. Suddenly Stephanie stopped and turned around. "We only did it because we were looking for comfort. He loves you. He called your name out eveytime we-"

"If you want to live another day to even be able to express that to someone I advise you get the hell out of my house." Nicki's chest rose and fell quickly. It was clear that Stephanie got the hint by the way she rushed out.

After fully composing herself Nicki went through the house preparing phase two of her plan. She lit the candles, dimmed the lights and dropped rose petals. As soon as she went to check on the baby she heard the garage door open. She kissed her child's head before making her way downstairs. When she reached the kitchen she saw Safaree standing over the kitchen table examining all the documentation and pictures that she neatly placed on the table to form a heart.

"I asked you if you ever cheated on me."She said dully. She could tell she startled him a bit by the way he whipped his head around. He didn't respond, just stared. She began speaking again.

"I asked you if you ever cheated on me," She laughed and stepped towards him. "And you did what?! Accused me of the shit and said no!"

"Nicki, lets just-"

"Just what? Now you wanna be civil cause you got caught up? Fuck you Safaree! I been nothing but good to you. I literally gave you life. . .TWICE! I support you and-"

"Support me?"

"Uh, yeah nigga."

"No, you always tryna compete with me."

"Me? Compete. . .with you? Are you fucking serious?"

"What'd you do when I opened my first shop?"

"I don't know, Safaree. How about you tell me?"

"You opened up that boutique."

"To take some pressure off of you! I figured if we had more income coming in, even though we don't need the shit, that you would come home!"

"You had niggas checking up on me?" He picked up a document and his heart nearly stopped.

"I couldn't get pregnant. I had two miscarriages and instead of you being here for me you bury your sorrows in some other bitch and give her a baby?!" She screamed and picked up some of the pictures and threw them in his face.

"It-" He stopped and let her words process. "What did you just say?"

"You heard what the fuck I said!"

"No," He got louder. "Because I thought I heard you say you had TWO miscarriages but I know that's not possible because I only know of three pregnancies. Micaiah, MacKenzie and the ONE you lost in April about two and a half years ago."

*A Year and a half ago*

Nicki walked to her car that was parked in the garage of the hospital slowly. She had yet to break down about the news she'd just received but she knew it was coming. She went to the hospital to figure out why she had been having pains in her abdomen only to find out that she was five weeks pregnant and losing her child. She felt helpless and less than. Once she was in her car her phone rang.

"Hello." She heard her mother say but didn't respond. "Nicki? Hello."

"I lost another one." She said in a daze.

"You lost another what?"

"The one thing I should naturally be able to do, I can't."

"Nicki-"

"Why does this keep happening to me?" She cried.

"God has a plan for-"

"For who? Me? What would it be? To punish me? Take everything from inside of me?"

"Don't question, just trust."

"That's bullshit!" She cried out. "That's bullshit and you know it!"

"Is Safaree with you? Where is Safaree at, Onika?" She knew her daughter wasn't in the right mind frame.

"He's out of town, as always." She sniffled.

"Where are you?"

"About to leave the hospital." She began to regain her composure. It was all a facade though and her mother knew it.

"Nicki, calm down before you drive anywhere."

"I'm fine." She wiped her tears and started the car.

"I'm going to call Safaree."

"No! Mom, don't say anything. I'll talk to him. I'm fine."

"Nic-"

"Ma, I'm fine. I gotta go get Micaiah from school. I'll call you later."

After that day it was never brought up again. She thought about telling Safaree but that would mean admitting the truth and that was the last thing she wanted to face. Nicki just repressed it because it hurt too much to think about it.


"I packed somethings for you." Nicki said nonchalantly and began going upstairs. Safaree followed behind her.

"Don't change the subject Nicki."

"You don't give a fuck about me or our kids! Don't act like you care." She said walking up the stairs, giving him no eye contact.

"I do care about my kids! Don't ever fix your lips to say no foul shit like that."

She turned when she got to the top of the stairs. He was a few steps behind so she was looking down on him.

"Is that why you had one of them killed?" She asked coldly. She could tell she hit a nerve by the way his scowl turned into a frown.

"I did that for us."

"You did it for YOU! To save your own ass but guess what? It didn't work! You're not God, Safaree! You can't pick and choose who gets to live, who gets to be happy, who gets-"

"To know if their wife had a miscarriage!"

"Fuck you!" She said before walking away.

"I'm not leaving!" He followed behind her.

"Oh, yes the fuck you are!"

She went into the closet and brought out a duffle bag. He reached for it and grabbed the handle. They began pulling it back and forth. Nicki tugged it one time with all her might. Safaree released the bag causing her to lose her balance and fall on her bottom.

"Nicki." He reached for her.

"Get out!"

"I told you-"

"Get. OUT!" She screamed.

He snatched up the bag and walked towards the door. When he looked behind him she had her knees pulled to her chest and her head buried in her folded arms. It hurt him that he had hurt her so badly. He made his way to MacKenzie's room. When he looked into the crib she just stared back with her big brown eyes. Besides the fact that she was a few shades darker than her mother, she looked just like her. She had the Maraj nose, those slanted eyes, a big beautiful smile, and those dimples.

"Come here Princess."

He placed the bag down and picked her up. She smiled at him. That smile broke his heart the most. He looked into his little girls face and saw someone doing to her what he had done to his mother. He shook the thought and kissed her forehead.

"I love you. I'll be back tomorrow to check on you."

He placed her back in the crib and she began to cry. He picked up his bag and began to exit the room. He knew if he stuck around any longer that Nicki might try to kill him. He was surprised she hadn't already. When he got in the hall he seen Nicki making her way to the nursery. He said nothing as he walked pass her and headed out the door.








Wipe the egg off yall faces Barbz and apologize to my fictional Nikaboo. Sitting up here accusing her of doing something like cheating. >_< Tell me whatcha think though. :)