Q and A

Last night when Nicki got back to their suite she went to Micaiah's room instead of her and Safaree's. It had two queen sized beds in the room but she decided to get in the bed with Micaiah. It would make her night a little less lonely and she also missed the days when he would beg to sleep with them. She felt a heavy shift in the bed and then her hair being pushed out of her face. She placed her hand on top of his once it rested on her cheek and let her eyes sleepily flutter open.

"I miss you." He said.

"I miss you too." She felt her cheeks get hot as the tears streamed down. Why was she so emotional?

"We need to fix us. I'm not used to sleeping alone and if that's the direction we're headed in than we need to change."

"I have to tell you something." Her voice cracked as the tears fell.

"Shhhh." He pressed his lips against hers. She kissed him back. "I know I work too much but thats gonna change. I miss you yelling at me for stupid stuff and our late night conversations. We went from sleeping in the middle of the bed together to being on opposite sides. I always want to be on your side. Good or bad, we in this together. We gone work this out."

"I love you." She buried her face in his chest and held him close.

"I love you too." They held each other for a few more minutes until Nicki's alarm began going off.

"Just a few more minutes."

"We gotta go." He laughed. "Come on."

About a hour later they were all on the bus to the next city. Everybody noticed how close they had became but nobody said anything. Nicki sat with Safaree's arm around her with her head resting on his chest and her body facing him. Her left hand was intertwined with his left hand that was wrapped around her. He used his right hand to stroke the baby's head.

"When is her hair gonna grow, Faree?"

Nicki asked in reference to Mackenzie's short hair. She had one long curl on the top of her head but that was it. Her lack of hair didn't make her any less beautiful to Nicki but she was ready to do more to her hair than clip a bow on the top.

"When it grows its gone grow like wild flowers. Hair everywhere." He said dramatically and Nicki laughed.

"That's what everybody keep saying."

"We can always get T to make her a mini wig." He shrugged.

"My baby ain't wearing no got damn wig, Safaree." She laughed and MacKenzie began to stir. "Its probably time to eat."

"For who?" He wiggled his eyebrows. She unlocked her hand from his and hit his chest.

"Stop being nasty."

"I told you I missed you." He pecked her lips.

She smiled at him, "Let me make this bottle before she get to cussing me out in baby."

She got up and went over to where they kept the bottles, formula, and baby water and began making the bottle.

"Why didn't you breast feed, Nic?" Joyce asked.

"I didn't like it." She frowned.

"Why?"

"One, it feels weird and it was very painful, two, Safaree's not gonna buy me a new set of twins, three, it felt weird."

"Felt weird how?" Terrence asked.

"It hurts like hell the first few feedings." Joyce said.

"And I had these like weird uterus cramps." Nicki added.

"Oh. My. Gosh. Yessss!" Joyce said. "Everybody was mad at me for not breast feeding."

"Me, tooooo!" Nicki shook the bottle before putting it in the warmer. "I'm just not bout that life." She laughed.

"Yall are. . " Terrence shook his head.

"Terrence, you telling me you would breast feed a baby?" Nicki looked at him with her head cocked to the side.

"Hell no!"

"Well, don't judge us nigga!" The timer went off on the warmer and she pulled the bottle out and shook it up.

"In. That. Order." Joyce said and the bus erupted in laughter.

"We need to get Joyce back to Orange County cause this heffa then went Compton." Terrence said.

"Right?!" Nicki agreed and made her way back to MacKenzie who was awoke now. Once she saw the bottle she started kicking frantically. "How are you so tiny but so greedy?"

"Just like her mother." Safaree said.

"I workout and diet."

"Barely." He laughed.

"Whatever. You don't know my life." She laughed. "Here."

She watched him feed their child who was conceived in love, passion and need and began to feel guilt from her previous night. Did she really risk the happiness of her family to cure her own growing insecurities? She didn't know if she was wrong or right. Mentally it felt right but emotionally it didn't. She fought an internal battle with herself.


"Are you sure you wanna do this?" D asked.

"Yeah." She nodded. "Positive."

"Once we start that's it. There's no going back."

"I know." She sighed. "I wanna do this."

"Ok."


"Nicki," Safaree pulled her from her thoughts.

"Yeah?"

"Hold this." He handed her the bottle that was now half full and began burping the baby.

"What was wrong with her last night?"

"Teething."

"Already?"

"Yeah. Niggas can't put my boo on no time schedule with them average ass baby's." He kissed MacKenzie's forehead.

"Her bad ass need to be on something. She think she grown." Nicki rolled her eyes.

"Why you say that?" He laughed.

"Like, yesterday she was pulling on my necklace and when I asked her to stop she looked at me like 'Who the fuck you talking to?' and kept doing it."

"Boss." She burped and he put the bottle back in her mouth.

"Don't even cause she'll get her first whooping right now." She deadfaced him.

"You don't have it in you." He laughed.

"I know." She whined. "What am I gonna do, Faree? She's my child and she's a freaking Sag. Everything I did wrong as a kid about to come back ten times harder and beat my ass."

He laughed, "It'll be fine."




After the book signing they went out to eat and then to their hotel. They got the kids ready for bed before making their way out onto the balcony of there suite. Nicki stood and looked at the view with a glass of wine in her hand while Safaree was seated and watched her.

"Faree?"

"Yeah?"

"Can I ask you a question without you getting mad?"

"Um, sure."

She sighed and turned to face him. She took a sip of her wine then bite her lip. She tapped the side of the glass with her nails.

"Have you ever, you know, stepped out on me?"

"Like, cheating?" He asked and she nodded. "Nah, why you ask that?"

"You've thought about it though?" She squinted her eyes and tried to read him.

"Yo, why you asking these questions?"

"I just wanna know." She said with an attitude.

"Cause you fucking somebody else?"

"No!"

"You was thinking about it then?!"

"Wha-, No!" She huffed. "You and me ain't been together in a minute so-"

"So, what?! We not fucking so that automatically means I'm with another bitch?"

"I didn't say that, Safaree, I was just-"

"Yo, you gotta fucked up way of thinking." He shook his head and stood.

"Where are you going?"

"To bed." He said nonchalantly as he made his way back inside.

She drunk the rest of her wine down fast and followed him inside. They didn't say anything to each other as they got ready for bed. She got in first and laid on her side. He turned off the light and got in the bed. They had their backs to each other.

"I'm not taking care of another nigga seed."

"I'm not cheating on you!"

"Whatever."

Never did she imagine being trapped in a loveless marriage. At the same time she couldn't imagine loving anyone else. Tears began to run down her face.

"When did things get this bad?" She didn't mean to ask it aloud but she did.

"You know, Nicki."

"I don't." She sat up crying harder. "I thought you said you wanted to fix us. Just tell me, tell me where it went wrong!"

"When you decided that having a baby was more important than us."

"What are you saying? You don't want her?"

"I didn't say that."

"What are you saying?" She wiped at her tears but they kept coming. Safaree paid her emotional display no attention. She pushed him as hard as she could. "Answer me!"

He didn't say anything. She pushed him again but he did nothing. She buried her face in her hands and cried.

"You said that it would be different this time but its worst. You won't even talk to me." She pushed him again. "Talk to me!"

Once again her request went unanswered. She threw the covers back and got out of the bed. She went over to the bassinet and got MacKenzie out. She walked towards the door.

"Goodnight Safaree." Was all she said before making her way to Micaiah's to go to sleep.







Why yall tryna act like I ain't tell yall it was gonna get bad? -_- Anyway, excuse any typos. Thanks for all the comments so far.