Love & War Pt. 2

Safaree made the short walk from his bungalow to the gazebo. When he reached the end he of the walkway he seen a bare foot Nicki approaching. She wore a short, white, strapless, sun dress with her natural hair straight that flowed when the wind blew it. She looked so beautiful to him.

"Hi." She said lowly.

"Hey. What's up?" He replied awkwardly.

"Um, ready?" She asked as she looked him over. The contrast of his skin tone against his khaki shorts and white, short sleeve button up was so sexy to her.

"Yeah."

They walked side by side and entered the gazebo. This gazebo was different from the one that they had been in for their welcome to the retreat. It had a circular bench that went along the entire inside with an orange cushioning to match the orange curtain. Tina was sitting in a chair a few inches away from a section on the bench. They both took a seat in front of her.

"Hello." Tina smiled.

"Hi." They said in unison.

"Do you guys have the assignment?" She asked.

"Yes." They said in unison again. Nicki went into the pocket on her dress and pulled out a piece of paper and Safaree opened his notebook.

"Um, can we ask questions that we never asked before?" Safaree asked.

"Yeah." Nicki chimed in.

"Of course." She smiled. "The only rule is that if you feel yourself getting angry or about to say something hurtful that you go take a walk on the beach then return when calm. Now, who wants to start?"

"I will." Nicki offered and Tina nodded to give her the go ahead. "Um, you were right when you said I always run to Webb when we have problems."

"You love him?" He asked.

"No. . . I mean at one point in time I thought I did but I don't."

"I loved Stephanie. Not how I love you but the feeling I had when I was with her. The allusion of happiness."

Nicki took a deep breath to compose herself before speaking. Hearing him say that he actually loved the womanthat tore her world apart pissed her off.

"I hate your mother. I know me and her are supposed to be building a relationship but I can't stand her."

"I know." He chuckled. "Um, sometimes I think Micaiah is going to be gay. I'm cool with it but-"

"What?!" Nicki laughed. "My son isn't gay."

"He's so sensitive."

"Safaree, you're sensitive too." She smiled. "He's a Pisces. They are in tune with their emotions and what not."

"Nah."

"Bet money." She straighfaced him. "He has a type and everything."

"How you know?"

"At the meet and greets there would be certain women who he'd jump in the pics with and others he'd just be blasé with."

"What's his type?"

"Brown skin, long natural hair, big girls."

"Big girls?" Safaree furrowed his eyebrows and smiled.

"Yup." Nicki smiled. "Anyway, I was the one who flattened your tire a few weeks back when you were staying at the hotel."

"I purposely kept Kenzie's pacifier when I was mad."

"I took a trip with Webb while I was pregnant. . . .with MacKenzie. We didn't do anything. We had separate rooms. We just went as friends."

"I only slept with Stephanie at the house cause I was tryna get caught. I just wanted some type of attention from you."

"Where?"

"Closet. The open condom wrapper sat on the floor for a week and you never noticed."

"I flirt with other guys to make you jealous. Its childish but I don't care."

"It doesn't bother me." He shrugged. "I went to go see Stephanie the night you kicked me out. We didn't have sex or anything. . .just talked."

"Did you want MacKenzie?"

"Not at first. I was just down for having another kid because you wanted one. To be honest, I didn't really appreciate her and love her until I held her."

"There was a time when I thought that Micaiah wasn't yours."

"What?!"

"We had broken up for like two weeks and you weren't answering my calls. Webb was there for me." She looked off. "He's yours Safaree. I just-"

Safaree stood and walked off. He had asked her before if there was any way that Micaiah could belong to someone else and she said no. Nicki stood but Tina stopped her from going after him.

"Leave him, Nicki."

"Why?! I need to-"

"Let him calm down. You guys argue enough. You need to learn to talk to each other. That's why we are doing this exercise."

Nicki huffed and sat down, "Fine."

Safaree returned a few moments later and opened his notebook again. He spoke calmly.

"Almost every time that you've left me with the kids for a couple of days one of them has had to go to the hospital."

They continued to tell each other everything they'd never said and ask all that they wanted to know until they had completed their list. A lot of what they said to each other were small things but Tina pointed out that it was the small things that break relationships. They ended the session with a discussion and were then sent to their bungalows with the instruction of bringing their iPod with them the next day.


The next day they made the same walk to the same gazebo. Tina was sat in the middle was with two pillows and two iPod docks next to her.

"Nicki isn't here?" Safaree asked as he sat on one of the pillows.

"I'm right here." Nicki said as she entered and took her seat. She felt horrible. She had been up all night and morning vomiting.

"Good." Tina said with a smile. "Ok, do you guys have your ipods?"

"Yes." Safaree said.

"Mmhmm." Nicki swallowed hard. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. She placed her hand on her stomach instinctively and rubbed it.

"You ok, Nic?" Safaree asked.

"Mmmhmmm." She opened her eyes and pulled off her sunglasses. "Continue please."

"So, in your videos you each stated that music is what bonded you. In this exercise we will try to recreate that bond as well as express how you feel. You are not allowed to speak to one another. The song and lyrics are your voice."

"Ok." Safaree nodded.

"You will each take turns playing a song. It isn't a call and response thing so don't feel that you have to find a song that matches the other persons."

"Ok." Safaree said.

"Begin when you are ready." Tina said.

*Flashback*

"You being dead serious? You think Big is lyrically better than Pac?" Nicki asked. Her and Safaree had just walked from the park and were now sat on her porch.

"Yeah."

"Nah, nigga, you just sayin' that cause you from New York." She laughed. "That's what's wrong with you New York niggas. Yall never wanna give credit where its due."

"I mean, Pac good, he's great but-"

"But what?" She straightfaced him. "Let me blow up and niggas don't show respect."

"What you gone do?" He laughed. "Ain't shit you can do. You gotta look pass the hate and getcho money."

"I guess." She looked across the street at nothing. "I just need shit to work in my favor. I feel like. . .I don't know, it's stupid."

"What?"

She turned to see him staring. His eyes were so welcoming, so trusting. He saw the same thing in her. When she realized that she had been staring she cleared her throat and spoke.

"Since I was little I always would look at celebrities and think like, 'Damn, they don't have a care in the world.' I want that."

"They still human. They got shit going on. Everybody do."

"Yeah, but they ain't stressing over if the lights gone stay on and shit."

"True."

"Anyway, favorite singer?"

"Michael Jackson. I had the leather jacket and glove like him and everything when I was younger. I know all that mans choreography."

"What?!" Nicki laughed.

"Yo, don't laugh." He looked at Nicki who was laughing.

"Ok, ok. My aunt would watch me and we'd listen to Whitney all day when I was younger. God, I love her." She sighed. "I'm more into Lauryn these days."

"So, you like a conscious type rapper."

"Nah." She laughed. "Shits too heavy for me. I like to have fun."

They talked for a little longer until Nicki had to go in. The next day Safaree picked her up and took her to the studio. They rest is history.



"That went well." Nicki said walking on the beach with Safaree. Tina encouraged them to spend the rest of the evening together and to attend the couples bonfire.

"Yeah, once you dropped the attitude."

"One, I didn't find it fair that I couldn't play my songs. Two, that song you played was stupid. Three, I was sick all night."

"You done?"

"Yeah."

"One, the point was to allow someone else to speak for you. Two, you just don't like being told about yourself. Three, you shoulda called for me."

"I couldn't call for you. We're not supposed to be together at night."

"Nicki, we grown as fuck." He laughed. "Plus, don't be playing with you and my baby's health."

"We're fine. Its just morning sickness. I know how to calm her though."

"Stop calling it a girl. We don't know yet."

"I know."

"Whatever. How you calm it?"

"Calling a baby a "it" is so disrespectful."

"Its not that serious."

"Anyway, once the music started playing I stopped feeling sick. I think she likes music." She smiled.

"We haven't argued in two days."

"I know. Its scary."

"How?"

"We only got two days left here. What we gone do when we get home?"

"Make it work." He stopped and looked at her.

She sighed and turned to start walking again. She still had her guard up but at least she wasn't so angry. Everything was out on the table so neither had a reason to nit pick and argue over stupid little things that would turn to bigger things.

"I miss my babies." Nicki frowned deeply and whined.

"Yeah, Micaiah wanna stay in New York a little longer."

"Wait. How did you. . . You spoke to him?"

"You haven't?"

"I can't get no damn service."

"I get it in my room. Wanna call?"

"Yesss." She said excitedly.

They made the short walk to Safaree's bungalow. Nicki was surprised to see that it was a better bungalow than hers. She picked up the wallet size family picture that sat on the side table and sat down on the bed. She stared at it until Safaree pulled her from her thoughts.

"Here." He handed his phone to her.

"Thanks." She smiled and dialed her mothers number.

"Is everything ok, Safaree?"

"Its Nicki, Ma. Everything is fine."

"Why are you calling so late?"

"Sorry. I didn't realize. I just wanted to check on the kids."

"Kenzie is right here and Mic-"

"Ma." Nicki grunted. "I told you don't let her sleep with you. You know how hard its gonna be to-"

"I raised four babies, Onika."

"Mommy."

"Micaiah should be up. Its summertime so you know how kids are. Hold on."

Nicki listened as her mother moved around. She got excited when she heard her sons voice.

"Hi, Mama."

"I missed you Caizer."

"Stop calling me that."

"Its cute."

"Its lame."

"Whatever." She rolled her eyes.

"Are you guys better?"

"What? Who sa-"

"I heard Grandma and Katlyn talking."

"We're working on it."

"I can handle the truth, Mommy."

"I'm telling the truth, Micaiah. You don't need to worry about that stuff anyways."

"I have to protect you and MacKenzie."

"No you don't. Its my job to do that." She glanced back at Safaree who was watching t.v. "Me and Daddy's."

"Can I stay here for another week. I have friends here."

"If it's ok with-"

"Daddy and NaNa said yes already."

"Welp, there ya have it."

"Can I talk to you tomorrow? I was watching something."

"Fine." She shook her head at his bluntness. "I love you."

"Love you too." Before Nicki could hang up Micaiah spoke. "Wait!"

"What?"

"I need to speak to Daddy."

"Ok." She turned to Safaree. "Here. Caiah wants to talk to you."

"Hello." Safaree answered.

Nicki turned her attention away from him and took off her gym shoes and socks. She laid on her back and began watching t.v. She looked up to see Safaree staring at her with a goofy smile.

"What?" She looked at him funny and he nodded. "Safaree, I'm not staying here or fucking you. I'm just tired and-"

He smiled. "He kissed a girl!"

"What?!" She sat up angry.

"She's twelve." He was still smiling.

"Hell no! He can bring his ass home as soon as we get there. Call back."

"No, Nicki." He frowned.

"Yes, Safaree." She mimicked him.

"See, that's why Imma stop telling you shit." He shook his head. "This is how it works. He confides in me, I break his trust to tell you, you keep your mouth shut."

"So, when Kenzie kiss a boy and tell me, you gone be calm, right?"

"Hell naw cause her little ass ain't kissing nobody." Nicki laughed at his anger.

"Double standards."

"That's my baby."

"And Caiah is mine."

"Not anymore." He chuckled.

"Why?" She became panicked. "What happened? There's more?"

"Yeah but don't freak out."

"Don't freak out? Don't freak out?! Safaree, what the-"

"Nicki, calm your ass down. He just got happy."

"Happy as in. . .Oh." Her eyes were wide. "Isn't it too soon for that? Like. . ."

"Nah, I was like the same age when I started becoming a man."

"Oh my God, Faree." She whined. "I'm not ready for this."

"You ain't gotta be ready for nothing." He laughed. "I got this. Don't say anything though, Nicki."

"I won't. I don't wanna have that awkward ass conversation. I'd probably start crying." She laughed. "You gone handle Kenzie's talk, too?"

"Sure."

"Whatever." She laughed.

Nicki laid on her side and fixed the pillow so that she could still watch t.v.

"What's this?" She yawned.

"Silence Of The Lambs."

"Mmm."

"You ain't tryna go to the bonfire." He stated.

"I am. I just don't feel like walking now. Besides, its not even dark. We'll go when it gets dark."

"Can I ask you something?"

"Safaree, emotionally I'm drained. Physically, I'm exhausted. So, if this has anything to to with emotions and our issues. . . I'd rather you not."

"No, I just. . . I just wanted to know if I could, you know. . ."

"What Safaree?" It always irritated her when people stumbled over their words.

"When you've been pregnant in the past. . . I always enjoyed holding you more. Makes me feel closer to the baby, ya know?"

"Ummm."

"Its fine. Nevermind."

"No. No." She took a deep breath. "Come on."

He laid down beside her and wrapped his arm around her and let his hand rest on her stomach. There was still some space in between them but Safaree didn't want to push it. Instead, Nicki played the aggressor and moved back until she felt his entire frontal on her back. It was both awkward and comfortable at the same time. Safaree began to rub her belly like he always did during her pregnancies. Soon she found herself dosing off and he followed suit. Things were finally starting to look up for them.