Exhale

Nicki sat on her bed with her sleeping daughter laying across her lap and a few of her friends around her. When she called them and told them she needed them, they wasted no time getting to her side. As soon as they arrived she filled them in on all that had happened.

"Wow. I had no idea." Viola said as soon as Nicki finished.

"Who would guess something like that was possible though?" Shareika chimed in.

"I didn't even know." Nicki said.

"Wait." Candi said. "So, what made you hire the investigator?"

"I thought he was cheating because he's always at work but he's really been just working lately."

"So, when did all this happen with them?" TT asked.

"It started after I lost the first one and completely ended a few months before Kenzie was conceived."She looked down at her baby girl.

"I wanna know why you ain't beat the bitch ass?" Candi asked.

"And kill Safaree." Viola chimed in.

"Right?!" Candi looked at Viola. "I thought niggas was flying out to dispose of bodies." They all laughed.

"No, I'm a changed person yall." Nicki laughed.

"Mmmhhhhmmmm." Tt said.

"Deadass, I am. I gotta think about my kids. MacKenzie was home and I wouldn't want nothing to get out publicly that would have my son looking at me crazy."

"Yeah, Stephanie look like a bitch that would call the cops instead of just taking her L." Shareika shook her head.

"And I kind of feel bad for her." Nicki confessed.

"What?!" They all nearly screamed, causing MacKenzie to jump.

"Sorry." Shareika whispered while covering her mouth as Kenzie rested her head back on her mothers leg.

"Why?" TT asked.

"Cause I know how it feels to love Safaree with everything in me and not receive it back how I want and need it. I also know how it feels to lose a child when that's all you really want." She shrugged.

"Soooo, that's why you ain't beat the bitch ass?" Candi asked.

"Part of it." She sighed. "After he made her get the abortion she became suicidal. She told us that her Grandma was sick and needed vacation time but she was really getting like psychiatric help or something."

"Damn." Viola said.

"So, the bitch crazy?" Shareika asked.

"No." Nicki laughed. "Just depressed. Well, she was."

"How you know this?" TT asked.

"The detective looked it up."

"That nigga good!" Candi laughed.

"Hell yeah." Nicki agreed.

"Nicki, why didn't you tell us about, you know?" Viola asked.

"I was depressed and embarrassed and confused. I didn't even tell my husband."Nicki shrugged.

"So, what are you and Safaree going to do?"

"I honestly can't say. If he would of just told me. . . I don't know. Crazy thing is, I blame myself."

"Safaree is a grown ass man. He made those decisions." Candi reassured her.

"But I pushed him away."

"How?" Shareika asked.

"The other day when I asked him where it went wrong he said it was when I cared more about having a baby than us."

"What?" TT asked in shock. "Did he not want her?"

"I asked him and he didn't answer." She shrugged. "But he's right. Like, the first year and a half or so before the miscarriage we were always together, barely argued, like, argue argue, and the sex was," She let out a dramatic sigh. "But after it happened I just wanted a baby. That's all I cared about. If I wasn't working or with Micaiah, I was at some appointment. I started making him have sex with me on a schedule. . ."

"Scheduled sex, Nika?" Shareika frowned.

"I know." She said in a whiney voice and frowned back. "We would have sex and I would look in his face and see he wasn't happy but I didn't care."

"That's not a reason to cheat though." Candi said.

"I guess I just wanna know why so I'm coming up with excuses for him. I still love him. Even after being shitted on something nasty, I can't see myself with nobody else. What am I going to tell Micaiah? Like, 'Oh, your nanny fucked your dad and now she's fired and I'm done with him'?"

"Sounds like a plan to me." Shareika said.

"What's that noise?" Viola asked.

"The garage. He's here." Nicki said dryly.

"For what?" TT asked with an attitude.

"To get Kenzie for the weekend." Safaree had been stopping by everyday since Nicki told him to leave and they agreed he would get her for the weekend.

"Where is he staying?" Candi asked. "I hope not with that bitch cause. . ."

"Nah, he was in the guest house but I put him out. Now, he's at a hotel. He paid for two weeks."

"How do you-"

"I checked his credit card usage online." She laughed and got up. "I'll be back."

Nicki made her way to MacKenzie's room to change her diaper and clothes before she left. This was her first time ever spending the night away from Nicki and she was scared. She felt his presence at the door. He cautiously made his way into the room not knowing how this visit would end. The visits would usually start with Safaree playing with his daughter then Nicki would say something smart to cause an argument and would end with Safaree restraining Nicki. He still had scratches on his face and neck from her recent attacks.

"She almost ready?" He asked lowly.

"Don't you see me still dressing her?" She asked with an attitude.

He sighed, "Imma just go get me some stuff."

She didn't respond to him. He made his way to his room and heard several laughs that he knew. He huffed before entering the room. He walked straight passalready knowing the situation. A series of 'mmmmm's' filled the room. He went into the closet and threw some more clothes into a bag and got some cash out of his safe. He walked back out and angrily made his way to the nursery.

"She ate two hours ago so she should be hungry soon." Nicki turned to him now holding the baby again.

"Yo, I don't want everybody in our business."

"Safaree, shut the fuck up."

"Nicki, keep our shit in our marriage."

"Like when you kept your dick in our marriage?" She furrowed her eyebrows and tilted her head.

"Fuck it."

"Fuck who? Any hoe but your wife?" Nicki said sarcastically.

"Man, chill. Give her here." He opened his arms.

"Where you taking her?"

"Why?"

"More secrets?" She frowned.

"I'm not doing this with them in the house. Come on now."

"But you fucked that bitch with our kids here."

"No, I didn't!"

"The lies!" She huffed. "Damn, I hope my son don't be-"

"Nicki, I told you about bringing them in this." He stepped up to her.

"Get the fuck out my face."

"You wanna be mad? You earned that. Curse me out, hit me? Go ahead baby. But, keep our kids out of this shit. We don't argue in front of Micaiah, we not gone argue in front of her." With that being said he picked MacKenzie up out of Nicki's arms and walked out.


A few hours later Nicki and her girls were playing cards, drinking, and watching Waiting To Exhale. The alcohol had her feeling good but it also had her in her feelings.

"I miss him guys." She whined.

"Nicki, deal the damn cards." TT said.

"Fine." She began dealing the cards until something in the movie caught her attention. "Yo, this my part!" She said as Angela Bassett's angry closet scene played. "You the muthfuckin' improper influence!" She yelled along with the screen before falling out in laughter. "Yo, yall wanna go burn Safaree shit?"

"Yesssss!" Shareika, who was a light weight like Nicki, jumped up.

"Sit yall asses down!" Candi said. "We ain't burning shit!"

"You're no fun." Nicki whined.

"Whatever."

"You guys think he loves me?"

"Safaree?" Viola asked. "Yeah, he just lost his fucking mind."

"I should call him and tell him to come see me. So we can work this out. We gotta get better." They all looked at each other then back to Nicki.

"Nic," TT spoke. "Babe, wait until you sober up some then call."

"I'm not drunk though." She tried to say in her best sober voice.

"Just call in the morning. He has the baby and you know." Candi shrugged.

"You're right." They all sighed in relief. "Just hand me my phone and I'll text him."

"No, I don't think-"

"Fuck it." She got up and got her phone herself. When she opened it she saw a text message.

2125558551: I'm in town tryna see you
Nicki: Hang it up Wilson

She walked back over to the table with her phone and sat down. She forgot all about texting Safaree.

2125558551: Government names ONIKA?
Nicki: Yea nigga fuk you on my phone foe

Nicki laughed aloud and her friends looked at her strangely. They all thought she was texting Safaree. They knew she would regret it in the morning but an argument with drunk Nicki was worst than one with sober Nicki so they let it go.

2125558551: You still at the same spot?
Nicki: Y?
2125558551: Cum outside.
Nicki: pauz.....i dnt even live there
2125558551: stop lyin. Yall got got this corny ass mailbox that say Samuels
Nicki: lol
2125558551: Come on
Nicki: Avite!

"I'll be back." Nicki said getting up.

"Where you going?" Viola asked.

"Out." She grabbed her keys off the counter and walked towards the front door. She heard her friends discussing how to handle her as she put on her shoes.

"Its just Safaree yall, chill." TT said.

"But that nigga played her. We can't let her do this and regret it in the morning." Candi said.

"Faree won't do nothing crazy to her. Especially since she's drunk. She's fine." Viola said.

"Bye!" Nicki yelled and walked out of the house and got into the car.

Across the street Safaree was parked with MacKenzie sleeping in the backseat. She had been crying for hours before he took her on a drive in the middle of the night. Somehow he found himself back home just staring at the house. He watched as his wife got in the car with Webb and pulled off.  He hit the steering wheel hard to release some anger before pulling off.


"Come on Nic, try it." Webb said.

"No." She laughed and pushed his hand away. "I don't like that shit. Besides, I'm somebodies mother."

"Shit, I can't tell."

"What you mean?" She laughed.

"Your body is sick baby."

"Thanks." She laughed.

"Now, hit this."

"I don't smoke, Webb, stop." She laughed.

"Just one pull, come on." He smiled wide. She folded her lips and tried not to smile.

"Fine." She took the blunt from him and just stared at it for a second.

"All you gotta do is-"

"I know how to do it." She said before taking a pull of it. "Here."

"See, not so bad."

"Grown ass fuck and still a victim of peer pressure." She shook her head.

"Still?"

"Well not still but whatever." She sighed. "Why'd you wanna see me?"

"I missed you."

"Whatever." She laughed. "We never had a relationship Webb."

"Could have. Should have. But you always been open for SB. How that turn out?" He laughed.

"I'm guessing you have an idea since you laughing, nigga."

"I'm guessing bad since you here with me."

"Ding. Ding. Ding."

"He had to fuck up bad, huh?"

"Cheated." She looked straight foward. He placed his finger under her chin and turned her face towards him.

"That nigga crazy. You had his kids, he wifed you. . ."

"I dunno. Guess he needed more." She shrugged.

"If I had you, you would be more than enough."

They both went in for a kiss at the same time. They hungrily let their tongues explore each others mouths while they groped and undressed each other. When they were both down to just their underclothes he picked her up and carried her to the bed in the hotel room. He began suck on her neck and grind on her.

"Fa-Fareeee." She moaned out and her closed eyes popped open. "Get off me, Webb. We can't do this." She panted.

"Nic, just let it happen."

"No, I'm married. I can't-"

"That nigga cheated on you."

"And I'm supposed to do the same shit to him? Fuck outta here. Get off me!"

"Fine." He got up and put his pants on after tossing her leggings to her.

"You gone take me home or-"

"Yeah, man." He sighed. "Come on."

The entire ride back to Nicki's home was awkwardly silent. She let herself in her home and went straight to her room without checking on the girls. She laid on his side and surrounded herself with pillows to fill the emptiness. She cried herself to sleep thinking about how she almost fucked up like Safaree. Her last thoughts was her internal arguement about if she should tell Safaree or not.











Warning: Things are going to be ugly between them for a while. Just like FS, it has to get ugly before it gets beautiful. Now, for the confused: (1) Everytime Nicki has been pregnant it has been by Safaree. (2) Safaree made Stephanie get an abortion, not Nicki. (3) Nicki never slept with D or cheated on Safaree. So, any more questions?