All That Matters

Nicki sat up staring at Safaree sleep. She was restless and couldn't seem to get comfortable, both caused by the baby's constant movement. She debated on whether she should awake him or not. When she finally decided to wake him she heard MacKenzie. She smiled and got up careful as to not wake Safaree and made her way down the hall.

"Hey baby." She smiled and she heard Mackenzie scream out in excitement.

"You want to come with mama to get a snack? Come on." She picked her up and put her on her hip.

Nicki placed her in her high chair when they reached the kitchen. This had become routine for them. Nicki didn't know what was throwing off MacKenzie's sleeping schedule off but she didn't mind. For the past several nights she had been her partner in crime.

"Let's see, Kenzie Cat." She said looking in the refrigerator. "How about pickles for mommy and crackers for you. You know you like to make a mess." She looked behind her and gasped. "You scared the shit out of me, Safaree."

"My bad." He leaned against the counter and watched her.

"Open this and get me a pickle." She pushed the jar into his hands and went to look for crackers for MacKenzie.

"You don't even try." He opened it.

"Thats what you're for." She said as she walked over to MacKenzie and sat. "Oh, can you grab me a yogurt, please?"

"Yeah."

After giving Nicki her snacks he sat on the opposite side of MacKenzie. MacKenzie extended her arm towards Safaree to feed him her cracker. He took a small bite and she squealed. Nicki laughed.

"Aw, my baby is a sweetheart." Nicki said.

"When she wanna be. Why yall niggas up?"

"Stop calling her that." Nicki rolled her eyes. "We couldn't sleep. Why are you up?"

"You wasn't next to me."

She smiled, "Is everything ready for tomorrow?"

"Yup."

"I'm so excited. I can't believe she's one."

"Yeah, time flew. This year was crazy."

"I know." She sighed as she stirred her yogurt. "Its almost like we went to hell and back."

"That shit don't matter no more."

"It kinda does but whatever."

"See. You getting upset. That's why I said it don't matter."

"I'm not upset." She said dully as she wiped MacKenzie's mouth.

"Alright."

"Are you trying to piss me off?" She snapped.

"Nic-. . . What are you talking about?"

"I swear you say the dumbest shit sometimes."

"Like?"

"That shit don't matter? Since when?"

He sighed, "Since I realized that I'd rather be alone than to live without and that my family is the most important thing to me. It don't matter to me. All that other shit was just some bullshit that don't matter to me. When is it going to stop mattering to you?"

She sighed, "I'm ready to go to sleep."

"Alright. Just take her up. I'll clean this up."

"Thanks."

After cleaning up Safaree made his way back to their bedroom. He already knew that MacKenzie would be in the bed up under Nicki. In the past month or so it seemed like they were attached at the hip. Safaree climbed into the bed. MacKenzie was laying diagnolly with her head on Nicki's chest and her bottom sticking in the air. Safaree tried to placed her laying the correct way in between them but she screamed angrily and crawled towards her mother.

"Just let her stay, Safaree. You know how she gets."

"I know I ain't trying to have her baby ass feet kicking me in the neck while I sleep cause you wanna baby her and let her be up under you."

"I'm not babying her."

"You are. She's always up under you. When SJ get here what are you going to do? Carry both of them from room to room?"

"Thats the thing. I think she wants to be close to him. In the middle of th night she's gonna end up on my stomach."

"I really dont think she putting that much thought into it."

"Well, I do." She said with an attitude.

"Yo, why you tryna start some shit?" He laughed.

"I'm not." He shook his head. "What? Im not!"

"You are." He laughed. "You a damn bully."

"What?" She laughed and rubbed Mackenzie's back.

"You just be snapping on niggas just cause you think you can."

"Cause I can." She shrugged.

"I can't wait until you have my kid. Imma fuck you-"

"Good?"

"No." They both laughed. "Imma fuck you up."

"Whatever." She laughed. "And why is it your kid? I'm doing all the freaking work."

"You ever lived with a pregnant woman from the beginning until the end and stand by watching her give birth?"

"No, but-"

"So, you ain't walked in my shoes. Shit is pure stress." He shook his head.

"Safaree," She tried to hold in her laugh. "shut the hell up."

"I love you."

She looked into his face and knew that he meant every word. She smiled and looked into his face.

"I love you too."







Nicki sat up and tossed the covers back once she felt the familiar feeling of her water breaking. Both Safaree and MacKenzie were missing.

"Not today." She huffed and rolled her eyes when a knock came at the bedroom door. "Come in."

"Nicki, MacKenzie isn't feeling well." Her mother said.

"Great. Another thing for me to worry about." She moved her legs to the side of the bed. "Where is Safaree?"

"Out doing last minute errands for the party. What's wrong?"

"My water broke."

"Oh. Well, we should-"

"No. Mommy, I'm not missing my baby's first birthday."

"But-"

"The contractions haven't even really started. I know my body in labor. I'm fine."

Nicki's mother huffed, "I'll run you a bath and you can see to MacKenzie when you are done."

"Is she ok?"

"Fever of 101.5."

"Can you give her some of the Children's Tylenol and if it's not down by the time I'm out I'll call her doctor."

"Ok."

After Nicki finished bathing she returned to her room. Her mother had already stripped the bed and laid out clothes for her to put on. She was beyond grateful that her mother had arrived early and decided to stay a few weeks after she delivered the baby to help. As she dressed she felt a contraction. It was mild so she ignored it. She finished dressing and made her way to the living room. She sat down beside her mother and placed her child on her lap.

"Aw, Kenzie don't do this to me." Nicki frowned.

"She isn't even acting like herself." Nicki's mother said.

Nicki sighed and MacKenzie lazily laid her head on her. Nicki stroked her hair. She could feel how hot she was.

"I'm going to call the doctor and see if I need to take her in."

"Ok." Nicki handed her daughter to her mother and walked into the other room.

"Mommy, can some of my friends come over today?"

"Micaiah, I don't even know if we're having a party. Just give me a second."

"Why?"

"Is your room even clean like I asked you?" She asked looking through her phone.

"Yeah."

"Go double check because if I look and its still a mess, you won't even be coming to the party."

"Nobody's even going to be in my room."

"Go."

"Yes, ma'am." He put his head down and walked away.

Once she hung up with MacKenzie's doctor Safaree was calling. She answered.

"Hey."

"Sup?"

"Where are you?"

"Um, out."

"Out where?"

"Just left the balloon spot, bouta hit up the jeweler to pick up baby girl gift."

"Safaree-"

"Don't start."

"You spend unnecessary money on jewelry that she gone outgrow or lose. Just like those damn earrings that she pulled out her ear. Why can't you get her a toy? Something she can actually enjoy."

"This my gift. You go buy a toy."

"What is she even going to have to look forward to if she getting this stuff now?"

"Yo, you wanted something?"

"Nigga, you called me."

"My bad."

"Faree." She laughed.

"Has the cake been delivered?"

"No, but about that."

"What?"

"MacKenzie has a fever. The doctor said that if it doesn't go down in the next two hours we should bring her in."

"Well, make the fever go away. Everybody already flew out here."

"How? We gave her medicine and its not working."

"Cool her down, Nicki. I don't know. Im worried about other shit right now."

"What should matter is what's here right now with a fever over a hundred degrees."

"She'll be fine if you get it under control."

"You know what. . . Bye, Safaree." She hung up and walked back to the living room. Her phone vibrated.

MyBaby: Luv u
MyBabyMama: FUCK u

Within an hour they were able to bring Mackenzie's temperature down. They began getting ready for her party while people were in and out of the house setting up. Nicki's contractions began to happen closer together but she didn't make a big deal out of it. She also made her mother promise to not say anything to Safaree. He would no doubt whisk her away to the hospital.

"So, as long as we keep the medicine in her you think she'll be fine?" Nicki asked her mother.

"Yes. She should be fine. How about you?"

"I'm fine, Ma. Please, don't make a big deal about this."

"Childbirth is a very big deal, Onika and-" She was interrupted by the doorbell ringing.

"Saved by the bell." She smiled.

"Mmhmm." Her mother shook her head.

As she walked to the door she could already see who it was. She opened the door and rolled her eyes.

"What do yall want? The party doesn't start for two hours."

"Girl talk." Lauren said.

"We left the chil'rens with the mens." Candi smiled. Nicki sighed and turned to walk away.

"The girls are here, Ma." Nicki said as she walked back into the living room with her friends following behind.

"Hi." Nicki's mother said.

"Hey!" The all said as they took seats. MacKenzie began crying loudly.

"I'll go get her." Nicki's mother said.

"No. Please don't leave me with them." Nicki whined and her mother laughed as she continued walking. "What the hell do yall want?"

"Damn, could you act like you happy to see us?" Candi asked.

"Why yall couldn't be like normal black folks and show up late?" Nicki asked.

"Cause we nosy." Sherika said.

"So. . ." Candi said.

"So, what?" Nicki asked.

"What's been going on?" Candi asked smiling wide.

"Well, this morning I woke up and my water broke." She smiled sarcastically.

"Quit lying." TT said.

"I'm deadass serious."

"Well, why you sitting around like-"

"Like I'm waiting for the guest to arrived for my daughters first birthday?"

"You is something else." Sherika said.

"So, you good? You not like in "kill a bitch" pain, yet?"

"Not yet. SJ loves his mommy." She smiled and rubbed her stomach. "He's been very good for me today."

"Oh. Im glad that you bought Safaree up. How's that going?" Candi asked and they all laughed.

"Fine." They just stared at her. "What?"

"When have you guys ever been just. . .fine?"

"Right."

"What the hell are yall trying to say? We good. If I said we good then what else. . . Ugh. . ." She closed her eyes and breathed slowly as a contraction hit her. It was stronger than the others so far. She sighed when it was over.

"You always complaining about that man. From the moment yall met." TT said.


"So, who are we waiting for?" TT asked.

"My friend, Safaree." She looked down the block to see if he was coming.

"Well, where the fuck is he? We gone be late for the concert."

"I don't know."

"You must've rubbed off on him." Sherika said. "Cause you ain't never on time either."

Nicki rolled her eyes, "He's about to get left. He is so inconsiderate. I asked him to be here before you guys. He so damn hard headed."

"You must really like him." TT said.

"We're friends." She looked down the block.

"With benefits?" Sherika smirked.

"I wish." She mumbled. "Oh, there he is."

"On the bike?" TT asked.

"Yeah."

"Damn." They both said.

"Please. Simmer." They all watched him park his bike and approach them.

"I'm-"

"This is TT and Sherika." Nicki interrupted him.

"Hi." He said.

"Hey." They both said.

"So, you riding with us or on that stupid bike?"

"Bike." He replied.

She rolled her eyes and got into the car. Once they were all in Nicki began ranting about him. They had known each other all of six months and she was complaining like they'd known each other for years.

"Whatever." Nicki rolled her eyes.

"Seriously," Candi said. "Yall good?"

"Better than ever actually. Like, this is the first time we're actually working shit out. Usually we go through our little shit and then get back together like nothing happened."

"Well, that's good to hear." TT said. "Now we can do what we were sent to do."

"And that would be?" Nic asked.

"Get yall ready."


Hours later Safaree watched Nicki from across the room. TT was holding her hand while her eyes were shut and she nodded. After a few minutes they resumed a normal conversation before TT left her standing alone. He approached her. She smiled even though she'd been avoiding him all day.

"Hey babe." She smiled.

"Sup. You ok?"

"Yeah."

"You sure?" He pushed.

"Yes." She dragged her word annoyed. "Why?"

"You was up late last night."

"Im fine baby, honest."

"And I can tell you're in labor." He chuckled and she frowned.

"Faree." She whimpered and rested her head on his chest. "It hurts so bad."

"Well, lets go."

"No." She pouted. "I don't want to miss this."

"Alright." He sighed.

"Alright?"

"You already got your mind made up, son."

"You don't seem happy about it." She frowned. "You don't want to be here?"

"Nicki, don't play with me."

"What?" She asked innocently.

"You shouldn't be playing with this shit. At least let a doctor tell you that it's ok."

"I'm fine! I've done this two times before and-"

"And lost two." He said lowly.

"You know what. . ." She shook her head. "You win." She pushed pass him and went to their room with him trailing close behind.

"Nicki." He closed the bedroom door behind them. She had her back turned to him.

"You think it's my fault?" She sniffled.

"What?" He touched her arm. "Baby, no. I-"

"Cause I think you do." She faced him.

"No, I don't."

"It is my fault."

"No it's not. That wasn't something anybody could control." She didn't respond. "Nicki."

"I'm scared." She cried. "I was scared with MacKenzie but I'm even more scared now. What if we don't leave with him?"

The way she looked at him broke his heart. He felt helpless. He had no idea that she was still carrying that pain. But how could she not? Before he got a chance to speak she grabbed his hands and rested her forehead on his chest. She whimpered as she rocked side to side, alternating where she placed her weight. She squeezed his hands. A knock came at the door as soon as the contraction completed.

"Come in." Nicki said.

"Oh. Your mom says it's time to cut the cake." Sherika said. They stared at each other for a second until Safaree nodded.

"Ok. Here we come." Nicki said.

After everyone had left Nicki stood at the kitchen counter. She was supposed to be eating but the pain searing through her body eliminated the desire to eat. She held on to the edge of the counter as the strongest contraction she'd every felt took over her body.

"Ma-"

"Don't. Touch. Me." She said through clenched teeth and Micaiah backed away.

"You ready to go?" Safaree asked to which she nodded.

He picked her up bridal style and carried her to their bedroom. He helped her change before going into the closet to get her hospital bag. When he returned she was sat on the bed crying. He kneeled before her and put on her shoes.

"You ok?" He asked and she nodded.

"Can I see my babies before I leave?"

"Yeah. You want me to bring them up?"

"We can see them when we go down."

"Alright." He put the duffle bag over his shoulder before picking her up and walking down the stairs. "Yo, Caiah! Come here and bring your sister."

Micaiah appeared in a matter of seconds with MacKenzie in his arms. He cautiously approached them. Nicki could tell that he was timid and unsure about the situation. She smiled warmly.

"Im ok, baby. Come here." She said sweetly. "Put me down, Safaree."

When he did so she looked at Micaiah and smiled while she stroked his head. She whispered in his ear and he nodded. She kissed his forehead before kissing MacKenzie. As soon as her lips touched the child's cheek she began trying to squirm away from her brother and into her mothers arms.

"Take her to Grandma and don't let her get away from her until we're gone." Nicki said and Micaiah nodded. "I love you."

"I love you too."

Soon they were in the car and on the way to the hospital. The entire way Nicki screamed and cried out in pain. Safaree had never felt any less of a man than he did at this moment. Once they were at the hospital they quickly got Nicki situated.

"Ok." The doctor said as he put on his gloves. "I'm just going to see how far dialated you are. Ok?"

"Ok." She replied as she watched his every movement.

"Oh!" He smiled. "Its time."

"Well, obviously it's-"

"No, Mrs. Samuels, its time to deliver."

"But, I don't have any medicine and I thought I was getting a C section." She said worried. "The other two were C sections."

"Well, you've made it this far without medicine. Its too late for an epidural and I'm afraid that whatever we have to offer either won't kick in on time or will effect the baby."

"Its ok for her to deliver naturally?" Safaree asked.

"That's what the little guy is saying."

"Ok." Safaree said.

"What the hell do you mean, "ok"?!" Nicki snapped. "Are you doing this? No. So stand there, shut the hell up and be useless."

She was so busy going off on Safaree that she hadn't realized the team of nurses appear. The nerves settled back in as they propped her legs up. Safaree sat quit in an attempt to aid the situation. Nicki listened to the directions of the doctor and Safaree's couching but it wasn't enough.

"I can't do it." She shook her head crying.

"Look at me, Nicki." Safaree said and she did so. "You got this. We're almost there. Come on."

"Give us another push, Nicki." She kept her eyes on her husband and did as told. "I see a head full of hair."

Nicki managed to turn the doctor out but still do as instructed. She kept her eyes on Safaree and her ears on his words. The only thing with the ability to pull her away were the cries of her newborn child. She instantly began crying.

"Its a girl." The doctor said.

"What?!" Nicki and Safaree said.

"No, that's wrong." Nicki said and Safaree chuckled lightly.

"Ultrasounds aren't a hundred percent." The nurse said before handing the baby to Nicki. Safaree took a picture as she smiled upon their child.



"I figured out a name." Nicki smiled.

"What?" Safaree asked craddling his new baby girl.

"Micadence or Macadence. I haven't decided. It looks so ugly on paper but I love it cause in those dreams all she did was sing to me."

"Ok."

"And for her middle name I was thinking Safari. S-A-F-A-R-I. I mean, that's all we've been calling her for these past months and I don't see me having another one of those so yeah. You got a kid named after you."

"Thank you."

"You're welcome."

"Not for the name."

"For what?"

"Her, MacKenzie, Micaiah. Thank you."

She smiled, "I love you."


*Five Years Later*

"Mommy!" MaCadence came running into the room.

"Yes, Tune?"

"MacKenzie won't stop calling me other people's names and, and Caiah keeps saying I'm gay cause I was apposed to be a boy and Kenzie says it too."

"Do you know what gay means?" Nicki asked and she shook her head no. "It means you're happy. Aren't you happy?"

"Not when they make fun of me and say mean things."

"That's because their mean little kids who want me to kick their asses. Mean people aren't happy people. They're just mad because you're happy and they're not."

"Really?" She smiled.

"Would I lie?"

"No." She giggled.

"Tell your brother to come here."

"Ok." She skipped away and began taunting her siblings as soon as she was out of the room.

Nicki looked at her phone to see if Safaree had called or text her but he hadn't. She figured that he must've still been mad about the whole dance situation.

"Sup."

"Don't greet me like that boy. Where is your dad?"

"Said he had sh-, I mean stuff to handle after Bash's game."

"Did he tell him to call me?"

"Yeah but he's coming to spend the weekend with us."

"Ok."

"That's all?"

"No, stop calling my kids anything besides their names." He laughed. "I'm serious, Micaiah. I will kick your ass. I don't give a damn how big you get."

"Ok. Ok."

As soon as Micaiah was out of the room she heard the girls screaming and running. She knew they were going to meet Safaree at the door. She got up and followed suit. Once she reached them MacKenzie ran up to Nicki.

"Look, mommy! Daddy got me and Cadence a flower and candy." She smiled as she held up her singled rose.

"Look, mommy!" MaCadence said. She showed her rose of an opposite color. Nicki could see the candy bouquet sat on the table. She rolled her eyes at it knowing that the girls would fight over it before it caused them to become super hyper and annoying.

"Those are pretty."

"Daddy got you something, too." MacKenzie whispered and MaCadence nodded with a wide smile.

"Hey!" Safaree said. "Yall can't be giving away my surprises."

"Sorry, Daddy." MaCadence giggled.

"Go get ready for bed while me and mommy talk." He said.

"You gonna tuck me in?" MacKenzie asked.

"And me?" MaCadence chimed in.

"Yup."

"Yay!" They both screamed as they ran away.

"And me?" Nicki asked with a smile.

"You not mad no more?"

"For letting Cadence quit dance? Yes. For being upset about Kenzie's costumes? No." She wrapped her arms around his neck. "I get it."

"I got you these." He pulled a dozen roses from behind his back and she smiled.

"Thank you. They're beautiful."

"Like you." They locked into a stare before their lips locked.

"MOMMY! MaCadence hit me!" Nicki pulled away and sighed.

"Did not!" They heard a small voice yell.

"Does it ever end?" Nicki asked.

"Lets go sit in the car and maybe they'll think we're gone."

"Ok." Nicki laughed as they both ran out of the house in seek of serenity.
















So, this is the end. Thank you guys who have been reading my stories since LIT and thanks to you guys who comment on every post. This is kind of shit but the better version got deleted. I'm ending these stories because this summer I'm taking summer classes in college and working. I know I won't be able to balance. I'd rather end it than leave you guys waiting for months. I will, possibly, do SS oneshots. That's a maybe. Im also going to try to post oneshots at  http://drickafaree.blogspot.com/?m=1 . That's also a MAYBE.

Thanks again for all the support. I really like writing these. If I could continue I would. Also, don't be surprised if this blog is deleted in a few weeks.

Bye.