Family Values

Nicki held on to MacKenzie with one hand while Sebastian held on to the other one as they made their way up the stairs. It was taking longer than normal to make it up because Sebastian went up the stairs one at a time as opposed to putting every other foot on every other stair. In the moment Nicki took to catch her breath when they reached the top Sebastian broke away from her and took off down the hall. She knew exactly where he was going and why so she took her time following behind him.

"Sebastian." She said when she reached Micaiah's room.

He was sat on his knees with his feet going in opposite directions. He had Micaiah's Xbox controller in his hand, ready to play. She knew Micaiah would have a fit if he seen this.

"Come on babe." She extended her hand to him.

"Play." He said after shaking his head no.

"We're gonna take a nap then we'll play when we get up." She rocked in place as to further soothe MacKenzie who was resting her head sleepily on her mother.

"I not sleepy." He pouted.

"Come on, Bash." She said more sternly and he began to cry.

"I not sleepy."

She sighed. She was too exhausted to put up a fight with him but she knew very well that he was tired. In the short time that he'd been there she'd learned him well. He always got stubborn and whiney when he was tired. In fact, that was the only time when he was acting out.

"Bash." She approached him. "Stop crying." He sniffled and looked up at her. "You wanna watch Ninja Turtles?"

"Ninja Turtles?" He rubbed his eye sleepily.

"Yeah. Me and Kenzie are gonna take a nap but you can watch that, ok?"

"Ok."

"Come on." She extended her hand to him again and this time he accepted it.

They walked to her and Safaree's bedroom. She watched him climb into the bed while she found the program that he wanted to watch. Once she found it she laid down with MacKenzie laying on top of her. She watched as he rubbed his eyes trying to stay awoke.

"Bash, you wanna lay down?" He looked at her with his tired eyes and shook his head no. "You don't have to go to sleep."

He crawled up beside her and laid down. He continued to watch tv until Nicki rubbing his back disabled him from fighting his sleep. He snuggled into her side as he drifted to sleep.

Nicki stared at his small body beside her. Everytime she looked at him she couldn't help but wonder why and how Stephanie just left him. He was one of the sweetest kids she'd ever met and it was almost impossible not to fall in love with him. He reminded her so much of Micaiah in that aspect and she couldn't help but to wonder if God placed him in her life for her to do that situation over.

The two weeks had passed but neither her or Safaree mentioned it. What was there to say? He'd already worked his way into their home and hearts. As far as Nicki was concerned, he wasn't going any where. That's why when the DNA test came back she didn't tell Safaree or open the results. She was too afraid. How could she send him to live with someone who just abandoned him on a porch at two am? She wouldn't.

She continued to let the tears roll down her face before drifting asleep. Not thirty minutes into her nap and she felt Safaree nudging her. She tried to ignore him but he just continued.

"Nicki."

"What?" She groaned with her eyes shut.

"Come on. We got shit to do."

"Just give me five minutes."

"Your five minutes is too long. Lets go." He tapped her thigh. She opened her eyes and glared at him. He was holding Sebastian. "Yeah, I love you too."

""Fuck you." She laid MacKenzie beside her before sitting up.

"Fuck." Sebastian repeated her.

"Noo-ooo-ooo. Don't say that, Bash." She frowned and looked at him.

"Fuck?" He said again.

"Nicki." Safaree huffed.

"I'm sorry." She looked at Safaree and whined then back to Sebastian. "Bash, don't say fuck. It hurts my feelings." She frowned dramatically.

"No cry." He slid out of Safaree's arms, with Safaree's help, then stood on the side of the bed. "No cry."

"Ok." She pouted and looked at him.

"Big girl, Mama."

Both Nicki's and Safaree's eyes grew wide. Usually he would only call Nicki that when Micaiah was around because he was repeating what he heard but Micaiah was at school.

"Nicki." She pointed to herself.

He shook his head no, "Mama."

"Nicki." She pointed to herself again.

"No, Mama." He pointed to her.

"No, Nicki. I'm Nicki." She said more sternly.

"NiNi Ma?" He cocked his head to the side and asked. When she smiled, so did he. They came to an agreement.

"NiNi Ma." She smiled.



After Safaree finally forced Nicki out of the bed they made their way out to shop for the new baby. They had just left the kids clothing store, paparazzi free, and were now at the kids furniture store.

"Hi." Nicki said to the sales associate as they approached the register.

"Hi." She smiled back. "How may I help you?"

"My name is Nicki. I called the other day and spoke to-" She frowned trying to remember the name.

"Megan?"

"Yesss!" She smiled wide. "Is that you?"

"No, my manager but she told me to be expecting someone special." She smiled.

"So, how does this work?" Safaree asked.

"Simple. The same way you would register for your baby shower, by scanning items that you want on your registration, is how you will shop. Once you're done I ring you up, you pay and in about four to seven business days you will receive all of your purchases."

"Ok." Nicki smiled and took the small scanner that she had extended out to her.

"Oh." She stopped them. "We have a small play area. I'll take the little guy if you'd like."

"No, I'll take him." Safaree said when Sebastian began hiding behind his leg.

While Safaree took Sebastian to the play area Nicki began walking around the store with MacKenzie on her hip. When he returned to her side she smiled wide.

"Isn't this so cute?" She pointed to a stuffed monkey.

"Yeah." He replied.

"I wanna change the theme to monkeys."

"Ok."

"Look." She began walking past him and he followed. "Isn't this cute?"

It was a blanket set that was green and brown and covered in monkeys. Safaree could have cared less but he knew to keep her happy he had to seem somewhat interested.

"Yeah, that's dope."

"And Micaiah will like it. You think he will like it, Faree?"

"Its not his room so it doesn't matter."

"Well, I know that but it would be nice if he did." She rolled her eyes. "Here." She tipped MacKenzie's body towards him to take. Nicki moved to something else that caught her eye after scanning the set and Safaree followed.

"Oh." She said. "I've been meaning to talk to you."

"About?"

She looked at him and bit her lip. She didn't know where to start.

"A lot actually."

"Well. . ."

"So, Wayne wants me to do another album and I know I said the last was the last but-"

"When would it be released?" He asked with little emotion.

"I don't know." She sighed. "I really wanna do it though."

"You already said yes." He said factually.

"I mean, yeah, but-" She looked over his face. She couldn't read him. "Look, I love all the time I get with the kids now but I don't think being a housewife is something for me. Like, I need to be working."

"You're always at meetings and sending out emails, at the studio-"

"Right but it's not enough." She turned and scanned a green piggy bank then turned back to him.

"What about SJ?"

"What about him?"

"He needs his mother, Nicki."

"Why do you assume that he won't have me? I can bring him and Kenzie to the studio with me and you know I only tour during the summer. Plus, we're interviewing nanny's later so-"

"So, you're gonna let her raise our family?"

"Wh-, I don't understand. Like, one minute you wanna get help and then the next its a bad thing."

"No." He sighed. "I just gotta look out for everybody."

She placed her hand on his cheek and looked up at him, "The kids will be fine. I can balance it all. Trust me."

"The minute shit goes wrong. I mean the very minute it looks like you can't handle or, or you stressed or something. . .you're pulling out."

"Eeeek." She leaned up and pecked his lips. "Pauz but eeeek!"

"Yeah. Whatever." He watched her scan something else then followed behind her. "What else?"

"Huh? Oh, yeah. . . So, we've been here in California for a long time and I was kind of thinking that it's maybe time to find a church home."

"Nah."

"Faree." She whined.

"Nic, you know how I feel about church."

"And you know how I feel. I really want our kids to grow up in that environment."

"I don't. They don't need to be in a church to have a relationship with God."

"But it helps and they can be around people that have similar morals and values as us."

"Nicki, you can go and take the kids but I don't want to. My experiences with churches ain't the same as yours."

"I'm sure we can find one that works for us all Faree."

"Nic, you doing the same thing my aunt used to do. Try to force me to go. That's the main reason why I don't like it."

"I wasn't trying to force you." She said solemnly. "I just wanted that one thing for our family but nevermind."

"Nic-"

"No, its fine. I'll just take the kids and it'll kind of just be our thing, ya know?" She forced a smile but he knew she was upset about it.

"We can go." She heard him say as she turned around. "Nicki, we can go."

She turned to fully face him with a smile.

"You want to?"

"Yeah, man." He smiled.

"I love you, Faree." She hugged him tight.

"Yeah, lets just find my son a crib."

"Alright." She held on to his arm with one hand while the other rested on her stomach. She pulled him towards a simple brown one. "Oh, I like this one."

"Yooo." He pulled away from her and went to an all gold crib. It had a large, gold lions head at the front that had its mouth open.

"No." She said as she walked over to it, with both hands on her stomach now.

"What?!" He asked shocked.

"Its too, its too gaudy." She turned up her nose at it. "I mean, its beautiful, yes but it's too much for a baby."

"You," He pointed at her. "You think it's too gaudy?"

"Yes." She said as she walked around the crib, still observing it even though she had her mind made up. Her eyes landed on the price tag and she let out a small laugh to accompany her smile. "Yo, guess how much this costs."

"How much?" He asked as he walked towards her side carrying a now sleeping MacKenzie. She covered the tag.

"Guess." She smiled. Before he could answer she spoke. "One hundred and fiftey thousand dollars."

"Lets get it." He smiled.

"Hell no."

"We got that."

"Just because we have it doesn't mean we need to spend it."

"Aw, Nic. Its dope!"

"And you must be smoking dope to think Imma spend that kinda money on a crib. Our bed didn't even cost half of that."

"I'm paying for everything anyway."

"I won't let you buy that. Its stupid."

"My kids deserve the best."

"Your kids deserving the best is why we're having another kid." She walked away from him. "Its still a no." She called over her shoulder.



*6 months ago*

After laying down her three month old, Nicki walked out of the room and closed the door behind her. She looked down the hall to see a giant box in the hallway. She frowned as she walked towards it, trying to figured out what it was. When she got to the front of it she tilted it back to look at the front of it. She huffed when she saw the picture of the large flat screen tv. She pushed open Micaiah's room door to see him flicking through the channels with a wide grin as Safaree watched with a similar face.

"Safaree." She said angrily. He huffed when he heard her voice. When she disappeared he knew that was his cue to get up and follow.

Things were good between them up until she had given birth to MacKenzie. She slipped into a depression for the first two weeks then suddenly jumped into motherhood. Once she was there being his wife was her last concern as she pushed him away. Things became more awkward and strained as time went on, getting worst than they were before her pregnancy.

"I told him if he made honor and a spot on the basketball team that I'd get it for him." He said after closing their bedroom door.

"And I told you that he didn't need it." She angrily folded the clothes that were in the laundry basket.

"Why?!"

"Because he doesn't. There's a tv in the living room, which I didn't want, and two in the basement."

"So what? He wants his own and he deserves it."

"Whatever." She rolled her eyes. "You know what, I'm so fucking over this shit."

"What?!" He scrunched up his face.

"You and your shit! You don't never do what the fuck I ask."

"Cause I'm a grown ass man and I don't need to be told what to do."

"Oh, really?"

"Yeah." He bucked his eyes at her.

"Well, your grown ass can fold your own damn clothes." She threw a shirt at him.

"Aye!" She threw another piece of clothing and continued as he walked towards her shielding his face.

By the time they were face to face she had ran out of clothes. They just stared at each other angrily. Both of their chest rising and falling quickly, waiting for the other one to make a move. Suddenly, Safaree ran his fingers through the back of her hair and pulled her close before he began aggressively kissing her. She put up no fight but instead matched his agressivesness. One thing led to another and now they were shopping for yet another baby.


Safaree pulled up to Micaiah's school thirty minutes late. He knew they would be getting an ear full once he got in the car. Micaiah approached the car angrily.

"Yo, he's pissed." Nicki said.

"I know."

Micaiah got in and slammed the car door. He didn't speak a word to anyone as he put on his seat belt. When MacKenzie reached for him smiling he pushed her hand away.

"Hi, Micaiah." Nicki turned to him smiling.

"Hi." He huffed and looked out of the window.

"What's wrong?" Nicki continued to smile.

"Nothing."

"Oh, he mad." She said. She rolled her eyes and turned away.

"That's cool." Safaree nodded as he began to drive. "I guess tomorrow we'll just take him to school while we go to the circus. I mean-"

"The circus?!" He perked up.

"Circus! Circus!" Sebastian yelled.

"What you happy for?" Nicki asked. "You wasn't happy when you got in the car."

"I didn't know we were going to the circus!" He smiled wide.

"We? You aren't going. You'll be in school." Safaree said.

"Yes! Please?! Please, mama. Please." He reached for her arm but she snatched it away laughing.

"Nope." She said.

"Im sorry."

"Tell your sister sorry." She said.

"I'm sorry, Mook." He rested his hand on one of hers and she began hitting it. They all began laughing hard when it sounded like she said "Un uh.".

"See." Nicki laughed. "Be careful who you're mean to cause they might hold your fate."

He smacked his lips, "Ma, please."

"Ask Bash." She laughed.

"Bash, say yes." Micaiah instructed.

"Yes!" He began laughing.

"Yo, you a cheater." Safaree laughed.

"Right, that don't count." Nicki laughed.

"You ain't say no rules." Micaiah said.

"That wasn't a question." Safaree said.

"Right." Nicki agreed.

"Bash, can I go to the circus with you?"

"Bash go to circus." He said.

"Can I go?" Micaiah asked.

"Sure." He said perky.

"Sure." Nicki mimicked him. "He is adorable and you, Micaiah, you're lucky."

"I know." He laughed. "Hey, Ma, is Bash gonna stay with us a little longer?"

"Um." She glanced at Safaree trying to find the right answer but he didn't have it either. "We'll see."

"Ok. I hope so cause he's like a brother now. He gets on my nerves like Kenzie but he's kinda cool, ya know?"

Micaiah continued to ramble about Sebastian. With each word he spoke both Nick and Safaree's hearts broke. They were attached now. How could they part with him if and when the time came? Sebastian's arrival had been like a rainbow appearing during a horrible thunderstorm. It was beautiful to look at but the dark clouds still lingered.

Nicki shook the thoughts when Micaiah started singing some song that was playing on the radio. Soon Sebastian joined in and then MacKenzie began screaming along. Nicki was already laughing but when Safaree tried to join in and Micaiah denied him access to their trio because of his age she began hysterically laughing. If only for today, or the next day, she would enjoy the family that God had given her. What other choice did she have?