Under Pressure

"Ma." Micaiah gently pushed his mother. "Ma."

"What?" She groaned.

"I'm late." He said.

"Shit." She quickly sat up and threw the covers off of her. She looked him over and saw that he was dressed already. "Why didn't you get me up sooner, Micaiah?"

"I just got up."

"Finish getting ready." She stood up and went into the bathroom to quickly brush her teeth and wash her face before getting the other two kids up.

Safaree had been out of town for a few days for business and Nicki was left alone with the kids. The new nanny, Valerie, had been by a few times but Nicki didn't know her well enough just yet to leave the kids with her all day. Nicki was trying hard to balance everything without Safaree but it was a lot harder than she'd expected.

She picked MacKenzie up out of her crib and she instantly rested her head on her mothers chest. She had been up all night crying because of the two teeth that were currently coming in at the same time. As Nicki began changing MacKenzie, who was still sleep, Micaiah came in.

"Ma, we gotta go." He huffed.

"Micaiah, please. You see me getting her together. You should've been up on time."

"You're supposed to wake me up." He said with an attitude.

"Not anymore. You're old enough to do it." She redressed MacKenzie in her pajamas. "Go wake up your brother. Just put his shoes on." She picked up MacKenzie.

"Brother?" He looked at her funny with his head cocked to the side.

"What?" She matched his expression. She knew what she said but she hadn't meant to say it aloud.

"You just-"

"Go put on Sebastian's shoes and hurry up."

He walked out of the room without saying anything else. Nicki walked to her room with MacKenzie in her arms. She laid her in the center of the bed and made her way to the closet. She placed a pair of UGG boots on the floor and stepped into them. She didn't think twice about the fact that she was still in her pajamas or that she still had a scarf on her head. She just wanted to get her son to school on time. She reentered the room and answered her ringing phone after she picked up MacKenzie.

"Hey, babe."

"What's going on?"

"We're running late." She said as she walked down the hall. She followed the sound of Sebastian's cries. He never liked to be woken in the morning.

"Why didn't you get up on time?"

"Well, maybe it was because I was up all night with a teething baby." She snapped. "Or, or maybe because I was exhausted from running around all day getting shit for Micaiah's stupid project that's due today."

"Alright, son." He sighed.

"No, you know what it was? Fighting with a two year old about why he shouldn't be jumping on my damn furniture."

"You done?"

"For now." He laughed even though he knew that she was serious. "Hold on." She said. "Sebastian, stop that crying. Don't nobody wanna hear that."

His breathing became hitched as he rubbed his eyes. He let Micaiah finish putting on his shoes before he walked over to Nicki and put his head on her thigh.

"I know baby. Once we drop off Caiah we can come back and go to sleep. Micaiah, you ready?"

"Yeah." He picked up his book bag.

"Safaree?"

"Still here."

"Where are you?" She asked. She didn't want to come off as insecure but him being away was a test in their trust of one another; she was failing.

"My room."

"You didn't tell me where you were staying."

"Ma." Micaiah said.

"I did. Last night, Nicki."

"No, you-"

"Ma." Micaiah said louder.

"What?" Nicki said.

"Which car?"

"Which car has both of the car seats?" She asked.

"The truck." He said.

"Well, wouldn't that be the obvious choice?" Micaiah huffed. "Safaree, I'll call you when we get back."

"Alright."

As soon as Nicki placed MacKenzie in her seat she woke up. She sighed knowing that MacKenzie would soon be whining because she was hungry. After everyone was in the car Nicki drove as fast as she could to get to the school. Micaiah had only a limited amount of times to be late before it would effect his grade. They had pretty much used all of his tardies up in Safaree's absence. Nicki was relieved to pulled up to the school just as the first bell rang.

"Thanks, Ma." He kissed her cheek before jumping out of the front seat and running towards the door. Just as she began to pull off MacKenzie began to cry out.

"Ok, Kenny. We'll be home soon." She tried to calm her by speaking to her but it didn't work.

MacKenzie cried the whole way home and Sebastian reminded Nicki every second of the way that the baby was crying. By the time they were home Nicki was ready to pull her hair out. The thought crossed her mind of possibly having to do this alone, if she and Safaree hadn't begun working out their problems, and she couldn't imagine it.

 Once she got them in the house she put both kids in their high chairs and began feeding them. MacKenzie fell right back to sleep after eating and Nicki had no problems following her lead but Sebastian wanted her to watch cartoons with him. Everytime she would doze off he would wake her.

"NiNi." He tapped her after she had dozed off once again.

"Yes?" She huffed.

"I sleepy." He frowned and rubbed his eye.

"Come here." She opened her arms but he shook his head. "What's wrong?"

"Faree?"

"You miss Safaree?" She asked and he nodded.

She rolled over and reached for her phone. Once she had it in hand she dialed Safaree's number. The phone picked up and all she heard was heavy breathing. Her face instantly twisted up.

"Safaree!" She said with and attitude.

"Yeah?" He panted but she didn't respond. "Yo, Nic."

"What are you doing?"

"I was working out." He was still breathing heavy. "Did he make it?"

"Um, yeah." She said hesitantly.

"What's wrong?" He asked concerned with his voice now regular.

"Bash wants to talk to you."

"Oh, alright. Put him on."

"Here, Bash." She handed him the phone.

She watched Sebastian give Safaree short answers and laugh. They had a real relationship. Everyone had a relationship with Sebastian now. She couldn't picture their lives without him now. Sebastian crawled over to her and kissed her cheek and then put the phone to her ear. She smiled.

"You told him to kiss me?" She asked still smiling.

"Yeah."

"When are you coming home?"

"Two days if all this paperwork goes through and we pass inspection."

"Can't you get somebody to do that for you?"

"Do you get people to go to meetings for you and take care of your business?" She didn't respond. "Babe, I'll be home soon."

"Yup." She said dryly.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing, I just-" She looked at her phone and sighed. "Hold on. Micaiah's school is calling." She switched lines. "Hello."

"Ma." She heard Micaiah.

"What's wrong?" She asked concerned.

"I left my presentation consume at home."

"Can't you do it without the costume?"

"No, we get points for dressing in the traditional clothing of our culture."

"Ugh, Micaiah -"

"Mommy, please."

"What time?"

"Lunch, we present right after."

She sighed, "This is the last time I do this shit. You need to be more responsible and-"

"I love you, Ma. Bye!" He hung up.

"Safaree?"

"Yeah."

"I'll call you back. I gotta get the kids up and go take your son his costume."

"Costume?"

"Yeah, he did a project on Trinidad and he's dressing in Carnival stuff."

"You going to the studio?"

"I don't have time."

"What about-"

"Bye, Safaree, I'll call you later."

"Alright, Nic. You keep on trying to do all this shit by yourself and-"

"Get off my phone. Bye!" She rolled her eyes and hung up.


By the time she had gotten herself and the kids cleaned up and dressed it was time to drop off Micaiah's costume. She pulled up to the school and got both of the kids out. She carried MacKenzie in one arm, the costume in the other, and instructed Sebastian to hold on to her dress. She made her way to the office to check in and call for Micaiah.

"Hello." The secretary smiled. Mackenzie let out a high pitch squeal and the secretary laughed. "Well, hello cutie."

"Hi." Nicki smiled. "I just need to drop off this costume for my son. He has a presentation right after lunch."

"Of course. Would you like for me to call for him?"

"Please." She smiled.

"Name?"

"Micaiah Samuels."

"Ok." She began typing into the computer.

"Excuse me, ma'am." Nicki turned to the man. "I'm sorry but I'm Mr. O'Connell, Micaiah's social studies teacher." He held out his hand and she shook it.

"Oh, yes." She smiled.

"I was hoping to meet you during parent night but this is probably better."

"He's on his way, Mrs. Samuels." The secretary smiled.

"Thank you." Nicki smiled before turning back to the teacher. "You were saying?"

"Oh, yes. Micaiah has been slacking lately."

"Oh?"

"Yes. The presentation he's doing in my class later was due almost two weeks ago. He's very smart so I don't know if he's bored or-"

"Hey, Ma." Micaiah's smile dropped as soon as he seen his mothers face.

"Micaiah, when was this project due?" Nicki asked and watched his eyes bounce between her face and the teachers. "You don't have anything to say?" She asked and he didn't respond. "Mr. O'Connell, what's Micaiah's grade looking like?"

"A low C."

"A low C?" She chuckled. "Since when do we do C's, Micaiah? Huh?" He shrugged. "And you still have nothing to say? Ok. Thank you Mr. O'Connell, I'll call my husband and see if Micaiah will talk to him and-"

"Noooo." Micaiah whined.

"Excuse me?" She asked with a raised eyebrow and Micaiah lowered his head.  "Again, thank you. We'll see you parent night." She smiled.

"Ok." Mr. O'Connell smiled. "Nice meeting you."

"I'll see you when you get home, Micaiah. Do you have your key?"

"You're not coming to get me?" He asked shocked.

"No, get on the bus. I'm not driving all the way back up here."

"But-"

"Don't start. Here." She passed him the costume. "Kiss me."

She leaned towards him and he kissed her cheek. She could never stay mad at him long. That's why she let Safaree handle his discipline. She also felt bad for making him catch the bus but she was beyond over the five minute naps she was allowed to take in between MacKenzie's whining , Sebastian talking, and running up to the school.






The next day Nicki sat in Micaiah's room with all of the kids watching him play the game. Micaiah was really playing but Sebastian had a controller that was turned off. Every five minutes Nicki would have to yell at MacKenzie for getting into something.

"MacKenzie, come here." Nicki said sternly. MacKenzie looked back at Nicki and then crawled quickly towards the door.

"I'll get her, Ma." Micaiah said as he paused his game. Nicki tried not to show the amount of stress that she was under but he could see it. He tried to reduce the amount of stress on her until his father returned but she was reaching her breaking point.

"Here, Mook." He sat on the floor with MacKenzie in between his legs and handed her a controller. She instantly put it in her mouth and started chewing on it. He didn't mind though because she was quiet and still. Besides, if it broke his parents would just replace it.

Nicki stared at the kids. Each one provoked a different thought and caused her to become even more emotional. Micaiah was way too mature for his age only because of all the things that they had put him through. She found herself being emotionally dependent on him whenever Safaree was away and that wasn't fair to him at all. With Sebastian coming she also wondered how he felt about her leaving when he was a baby.

Sebastian being there gave her the same kind of joy that Micaiah and MacKenzie did. He belonged with them even though he wasn't theirs. She had yet to open the DNA test that she had been hiding but she had a gut feeling about what it would say. She wasn't ready to face that truth but Safaree had begun asking about the test and she wouldn't be able to hide it any longer.

Then there was MacKenzie. Nicki found herself being guilty for being pregnant again so soon. She found herself too tired sometimes to give MacKenzie the attention she deserved. It also broke her heart that soon everybody would shift their attention to the new baby.

She felt her eyes getting glossy so she excused herself. She went into the master bathroom and closed the door. She looked into the mirror as the tears began to flow. Her breathing became hitched as she began to cry hard.

"Mama." Micaiah knocked on the door. She took a few deep breathes and wiped her face. "Ma?"

"Yes?" She finally answered.

"Kenzie needs to be changed."

"Can you change her?"

"She pooped."

"Please, just change her."

"Fine." She heard him say.

She tried to pull herself together but it wasn't happening. Everytime she calmed herself she thought of something else to work herself up again. She didn't understand what was going on but she didn't want to leave the bathroom and freak out the kids and she was too prideful to call her husband who would've no doubt flew right back home. She decided to get into the shower so that Micaiah wouldn't get suspicious or worried.

Nicki got out of the shower feeling fifty percent better. She wasn't so sure if she would fall apart soon or not. She walked down the hall and stopped when she heard Micaiah talking to Safaree.

"When are you coming home, Dad?" Micaiah asked.

"She's still acting weird?" Micaiah didn't respond so she figured he nodded. "Alright. Um, where are the little ones?"

"Right here. Kenzie is chewing on something and Bash thinks he's playing the game."

"Whatever she's chewing on take it from her. Come on now, Micaiah."

"Alright." He huffed. Nicki heard him get up and moments later MacKenzie began whining.

"Where's your mom?"

"She been in the bathroom for like an hour."

"Alright. Well, um, my laptop about to die so imma check in on yall later."

"Ok."

"If she don't come out in the next thirty minutes call me."

"Ok."

"Aight. Love you."

"Love you too."

She wiped her face and sighed. She took a deep breath before entering. As soon as she walked in Sebastian ran to her and hugged her legs.

"I miss you." He frowned and she laughed.

"I missed you too."

Once MacKenzie saw him on Nicki she crawled quickly over to them. She used Sebastian's clothes to pull up and stand. She tried to pull on his arm that was wrapped around Nicki.

"Stop Kenny." Sebastian whined. MacKenzie continued to try to get him away from Nicki. Sebastian pushed MacKenzie. "Stop!" MacKenzie started crying.

"Sebastian." Nicki frowned at him.

"I sowwy baby." He said. MacKenzie crawled to Nicki and used her leg to stand up.

"Come on." She picked up MacKenzie who was now just whining. "Its ok, Bash." She looked at Micaiah who was paying her no attention. "Are you hungry, Cai?"

"Sure." He said nonchalantly.

"Ok. I'll make us something."

"Can we just have pizza?"

"Sure. I'll order it now."


After feeding the kids she put them down for a nap while her and Micaiah watched tv in separate rooms. She turned on the television to find an episode of Unfaithful. One episode turned into two and then three. The couch shifted. She felt strong arms wrap around her and pull her close. She took in his scent and her heart skipped a beat. She pulled away and stared at him. Watching that show had made her suspicions grow.

"What's wrong, Nicki?" He asked.

"Where were you?"

"Huh?"

"Safaree, please. Don't act stupid. You've gone out of town for business but never for a week."

"Nicki, what are you saying?"

"What do you think? Cause I think everything you said was a lie. Who are you fucking this time?! The new nanny?"

"Yo, you trippin'." He stood up and she followed.

"Am I?"

"Yes!" He turned to face her. "Nicki, you're supposed to trust me, forgive me. I don't -"

"Do I forgive you for that other shit? Yes. Do I trust you? No. Hell no!"

He sighed, "Well, I don't know what to tell you."

They stared at each other for a minute. She tried to keep the tears from falling but they fell down anyway. He pulled her into a hug and let her cry.

"I'm sorry, baby." He rubbed her back. "I'm sorry for putting you through all of this. I'm sorry that you feel how you do. I'm going to make it better. Whatever it is, I'm going to fix it."

He carried her up to their room and laid her down. He was used to her trying to carry the weight of the world on her shoulders but things were going too far. He couldn't help but to blame himself. He could see in the way that she carried herself lately that she was extremely vulnerable and insecure.

"Talk to me." He said.

She looked and him and shook her head. She felt stupid and weak for breaking down. He kissed her lips softly. She looked down.

"Talk to me."

She began talking. She told him about how overwhelmed she was and the guilt and insecurities that she felt. He just listened. Never saying a word unless she asked, "You see what I'm saying?" to which he would nod. She talked and talked until she fell asleep.

The next morning Nicki awoke to an empty bed. She got up and followed the happy voices and laughs. She could feel the positivity with every step towards her family. The black cloud was gone, all because of Safaree.

"Hey." He smiled and licked some syrup off his thumb. He stood and went to kiss her forehead. "I made pancakes. Kenzie loves em'."

"Aw. My Kenzi Cat had panny cakes?" She said in a baby voice. "Where's mine?" She smiled.

"Not here."

"What?!"

"Go get showered and dressed and come back down."

"But I'm hungry." She whined.

"Go." He turned her around and pushed her out of the kitchen.


Nicki came back about forty five minutes later. She, once again, followed their voices to the living room. MacKenzie was in her walker bouncing up and down while Safaree played with Sebastian. Everytime Sebastian would jump up and swing at Safaree with his tiny fist, Safaree would push him to the ground. Sebastian would laugh then jump back up. Safaree picked him up and held him upside down when he saw Nicki.

"You ready?" He smiled.

"Yeah, I guess. Is this ok?" She said in reference to her being dressed in simply sweat pants and a plain tee.

"Pefect." He said before putting a screaming Sebastian on his feet. Once he was down he began swinging at Safaree but he held him back with one hand. Nicki laughed.

"Where are we going?"

"I'm dropping you off." He picked Sebastian up. "That's enough, man. Stop."

"Where?" She walked up to him.

"I'll let you know when I'm ready." He pecked her lips before putting Sebastian down. "Go get your shoes, Bash."

"Where's Micaiah?" She asked as he wrapped his arms around her waist.

"Washing the cars."

"What?"

"We don't do low C's." He smiled. "Go get in the truck. That's where the car seats are, right?"

"Yeah."

"Alright. You don't need anything. Just go."

"You know I don't like shit like this."

"You know I don't give a fuck."

She rolled her eyes and did as he said. Within ten minutes Safaree had all of the kids in the car. Micaiah had a displeased look on his face. Safaree held Nicki's hand for majority of the ride. He pulled up in front of a nice hotel and parked. He got out and went to open her door.

"What-"

"Shhh." He said. He pulled a key out of his pocket. "Room 2201."

She smiled, "Saf-"

"Go."

"Fine." She kissed him before getting out.

She opened the door to her suite to find breakfast. She couldn't stop smiling. After she finished eating she didn't know what to do with herself. It was quiet, too quiet. Soon a knock came on the door. It was a masseuse. After her massage she was relaxed enough to sleep.

Nicki slept for almost seven hours before waking. A combination of Safaree Jr.'s movement and the storm outside woke her. She rubbed her eyes and stretched before sitting up. She looked over at the clock that read ten thirty. She couldn't help but think about how the kids were sleeping. The baby began to move and she rubbed her stomach.

"I miss them too." She sighed and picked up the hotel phone.


After hearing the sound of the doorbell Safaree looked at his phone to check the time. The last time that someone showed up unannounced, late at night it was nothing but trouble. He made his way downstairs and to the front door. He sighed when he looked out the front door.

"What are you doing?" He asked after opening the front door.

"I was bored." She pushed passed him.

"I went through all that trouble to-"

"Safaree, shush."

"Are you wet?"

"Do you want me to be?" She smirked.

"Nicki." He laughed.

"Where are the kids?"

"Sleep."

"When it's raining like this?"

"Yup."

"Oh."

"I would've came to get you." He said while following her up the stairs.

"No, you wouldn't have. You would've left me to rot in my loneliness."

"What are you doing?" He whispered as she opened the door to Sebastian's room.

"Can the kids sleep with us tonight?" She whispered. "Please, baby?" She pouted.

He huffed, "Fine."

"Get Bash." She smiled. After he picked up Sebastian they walked to Micaiah's room.

"Baby." Nicki sat on his bed and kissed his temple. "Get up. Come on."He mumbled something that only she understood and laughed at. "No. Come on."

She helped him stand and wrapped his arms around her body. He was still half sleep and rested his head on her bosom while they walked to MacKenzie's room. Nicki picked her up and they all made their way to the master bedroom. After placing everyone comfortably in the bed Safaree got in.

"Goodnight, Safaree."

"Goodnight."

"Thank you."

"I love you."

"I love you."

















Um, yeah. . .so I'm kind of in a rush to finish these stories but I'm trying not to BS it. If this sucks, sorry. I didn't proofread so sorry for that too. Lol. Also, I'm not gonna tweet that i posted only because people are starting to ask what I'm talking about and idk. Its weird. Thanks for the comments on the last post. Bye.